After putting hours of work and effort into climbing the corporate ladder at his own company, he found himself placing his career on the back burner so his wife could further hers.
It happens every day. One person is offered a promotion or new job in another city and his or her spouse must pack up everything, leaving behind friends, familiar surroundings, and in many cases, a successful career.
"There is definitely an emotional roller-coaster involved," said Pam McDonald, director of operations for Ambler Associates, a Dallas-based recruiting and relocation specialist.
While in Jacksonville, Ellison saw an advertisement for a job that piqued his interest at pharmaceutical giant Johnson & Johnson and decided to apply. He was called in for an interview and was offered a job. As a global logistical manager, Ellison says the move was the best thing for his career.
But while Ellison's story has a happy ending, not all couples are willing to take the chance. For that reason, a number of companies are turning to relocation consulting firms like Ambler to help 'trailing spouses' through the moving process and get them on the path to finding employment in the new city.
Since companies tend to outsource such services, people who are considering a job-related relocation can sometimes negotiate for a specialist to help a trailing spouse get on his or her feet.
Among the services offered by such specialists are skills training and resume building. Many specialists also will research potential employers and coach trailing spouses in methods of better marketing themselves to companies that are hiring.
The success a relocation specialist has in finding work for the trailing spouse often depends on the amount of work that person is willing to put into the endeavor, according to Ambler's McDonald.
"We don't do it alone. Job-seekers shoulder much of the responsibility too," she said.
In some cases, trailing spouses have a set of skills that are marketable in the city they're leaving but not in the new location. When that happens, McDonald says, relocation specialists will train spouses in skills that are marketable in the new city.
But sometimes even training won't do the trick as is the case with Raynya Simmons. Simmons works in a New York ad agency, but her real love is singing and she has begun to have some success singing in the New York club circuit. However, Simmons believes her singing career may suffer in Chicago where she's in the process of moving so her husband Omar can start his own equity investment firm.
For Simmons, the move is nothing new. Two years ago the couple moved from Boston to New York, again for Omar's career. While she admits she was miserable and depressed after the first move, Simmons is optimistic about moving to Chicago and insists that attitude is key to a trailing spouse's success in a new place.
Because marriage is a partnership, trailing spouses should not feel like they're giving up anything for their husbands' or wives' careers, she said. But she admits that trailing spouses should give themselves time to adapt and should expect to have a down day or two.
"I had to learn to say 'Hey, I'm depressed today, and it's okay,'" Simmons said.
Simmons, an old pro at being the trailing spouse, offers a few other tips as well.
- Have a network set up. Call everyone you know and ask if they know someone in the new town. While broadening your social network, you might stumble over a job lead or two.
- Look for a church or some other type of organization where you can build a support network.
- Visit the city as many times as possible before the move.
